Do you feel like you are an honest person? I mean really honest?
Do you think that being honest serves you in your relationships or do you believe that white lies are the way to go?
I was writing on a completely different topic when I came across this article on the Internet and it blew my mind. I experimented with pushing the honesty comfort zone earlier this year to great success and it plays a big part in how I interact with women today. I never got to the level described in the article but fairly close. My experimenting was really only geared to interactions with women, but I should have expanded this to everybody as it was such a valuable tool. I have new motivation after reading this.
It seems to be a very common myth that you need to lie to the other person to get what you want. In my experience it is the complete opposite. Being REALLY unapologetically honest, not the “I’ll tell her if she asks” kind, would routinely get the response of how refreshing it is to meet someone this honest. Almost always positive feedback. My word instantly held more weight and it improved my ability to lead a conversation dramatically. It cut a lot of bullshit out of the conversation since honesty tends to be much shorter than lying. It gives both people choice about what each person wants out of the interaction. And guess what…honesty is a great way to differentiate yourself from other people which generally makes you way more attractive. I’m gonna keep this one short because I plan on expanding further on this but I would love to hear your comments and experiences regarding radical honesty. So next time you get into a situation where you get asked a hard question where you could tell the truth or lie, give radical honesty the old college try! You might be surprised by the results!
http://www.theweek.com/article/index/100314/The_last_word_Nothing_but_the_truth
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
A girl asked me today, “How many times do you say this? Do you say this to lots of girls?”
“Well yeah, I get good by practicing. I’d say you’re the 11th girl today that I’ve said this too”
(regarding a fun game I like playing in the field with women)
She was laughing and smiling throughout the entire interaction.
Excellent post!
My boyfriend and I started practicing radical honesty with each other about two years ago (or so) and it has been amazing! We were both a little scared at first (most lies are to either spare the other person’s feelings or are out of fear of losing the other) but it has been so incredibly wonderful! We have become much, much more intimate with each other, the trust has grown so much and our relationship has really grown. It’s funny because a lot of people can say the words “I trust you with my heart”, but when two people experience being honest with each other in every sense of the word, they really do trust the other with their heart…
Anyway…for us…it has made life together so beautiful. However, we do still take compassion into consideration. We are honest…always and sometimes even to a fault, but we don’t say “whatever comes to mind”…especially if it has potential to hurt the other. But…the lies that were designed to either keep us from losing the other or to cover our own butts…yeah,..those are gone and I couldn’t be happier. Until we are truly honest with another person, they can’t get to know us and unless they really get to know us, they can’t really fall in love with us.
Much Love,
Mercedes
Hey MM!
So sorry it took me so long to respond….I have been overwhelmed with stuff in my personal life. In any case yes it can be very difficult at times and it is great that you are practicing. I can’t say that I am there 100% and most of the time I do say things in a way that I feel spares her feelings. I’m working on it though…I gain more confidence everyday.
Hi T,
I’m a big fan of radical honesty for all the reasons you point out — better connection, more trust, less bullshit, more simplicity … would never go back to the “old” ways …
Hey Terrance, thanks for suggesting the article linked here as yet another ‘baby step’ in my journey of self-discovery. I appreciate you for your ability to share your own personal insights into this rather radical concept; it provides something I can ‘relate’ to when deciding whether I can do this or not. And you’re right (naturally) in your observation that while I might not be ready to fully commit 100% to the concept of full disclosure, trying this experiment in whole or part, might be a good introduction. No better time like the present either…..”I resent you for not kicking my ass sooner!”